Yeah, it's been 2 months since I've posted to my blog. . . so if I had any readers, they've probably given up :)
The happy mundanity of my life continues, and I'm generally content. DH is doing well in school and Little Man is thriving in preschool and enjoying swimming lessons.
I attended a wedding Saturday that was lovely. Simple, yet meaningful and beautiful. Cheers to my friend the new bride age 45. I hope she has a wonderful marriage! It's been a long time (almost 30 years!) since we roomed together in that tiny cubicle at summer camp. Housekeeper (her) and waitress (me)! We've come a long way, baby, and supported each other through it all--skating shows, shopping, sharing the ups and downs in our lives and keeping in touch even though we've been 4 hours away from each other for many years now. She's a special person to me and I'm so glad she's found such happiness. Unexpected blessings can happen to the nicest people.
Reading lately: (Audio) VOYAGER by Diana Gabaldon, narrated by Davina Porter. yeah, it's not the NLS version, but no one besides Davina can really capture the accents of the characters and the emotions of the story. Simply marvelous. Made the trip to Sacramento and back last Saturday a pleasure.
Reading lately: (Print) The TRIPODS Trilogy by John Christopher. Just rediscovered these on my bookshelf. It's a YA science fiction trilogy from the late 60s that I remember loving as a kid. Still enjoyed it a lot. I'm also on number 4 in the ARTEMIS FOWL series: THE OPAL DECEPTION should be on its way to me shortly. Hmm, have I read anything in print lately besides YA stuff and stuff I needed to finish for book club?
To Be Read: Jeffrey Archer (for Book Club). And I need to get back on track with choosing some adult level reading material. I have several titles in mind. Or shall I be tempted into a re-read of Harry Potter in the next 23 days? Hmm. . . :)
To Do: Spend less time on the internet and more time reading and getting REAL LIFE accomplished! And, hopefully, see PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END on Friday.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
There Must Be More Than This Provincial Life
I like my life. Really, I do. When I think about the times in my life when it's been REALLY bad--when I was single and lonely and felt hopeless; when I was finally married but I thought I'd NEVER EVER get a library job; when we didn't know if we'd ever have a child; this is probably as good as it's been.
I have a job that I absolutely love, which I do believe God engineered me into. I have a wonderful husband and the most adorable three-year-old anyone could ask for. But there is so much more I want.
To have more friendships and involvement in my community, whether it be through church, playgroups, whatever. I miss having close friends. Reading certain books set in the late 19th/early 20th centuries, I'm struck by how much time friends spent with each other and how they really knew each other intimately. I know those kinds of relationships still exist for people today, even if I don't have friends like that at the moment. But our society has changed so much and people seem so much busier and so much less connected with each other, that it seems to take more time and energy to make room for friendship. How to make it happen? Especially when one's dear hubby is much more of an introvert than oneself and is perfectly content to spend every evening just with our family of three? I'm not sure. But I need to make it more of a priority. Father Tim's prayer: Make me a blessing to someone today!
--My relationship with Dear Hubby, good as it is, can always be made richer and deeper. We need to take more time and thought for each other and really listen and communicate more.
--I have sadly neglected my time with the Lord. What's really more important--checking the latest updates on my favorite web sites, or getting my heart and mind focused on Him so that He will be a part of everything in my life.
--Our house needs to be more of a home. Need to take more of an interest in keeping it cleaner, making it more pleasant and livable and cozy. There are so many things we'd like to improve about it--but without the skills or the money, it's difficult to do more than little things. But little things can do a lot--for instance--cooking! We usually don't, really. Way too much dependence on pre-prepared foods and frozen entrees and such. To improve our menu and our nutrition would be great! And organizing our papers and important documents better REALLY needs to be done soon.
And this isn't even counting things like developing new interests, going new places, doing new things--broadening our horizons and making more of life than we have now.
When I look at it, it seems overwhelming. But the only way to do it is to chip at it, one day at a time, one goal at a time, one dream at a time.
"True love consists not only of looking into each other's eyes, but also of looking forward in the same direction."
I have a job that I absolutely love, which I do believe God engineered me into. I have a wonderful husband and the most adorable three-year-old anyone could ask for. But there is so much more I want.
To have more friendships and involvement in my community, whether it be through church, playgroups, whatever. I miss having close friends. Reading certain books set in the late 19th/early 20th centuries, I'm struck by how much time friends spent with each other and how they really knew each other intimately. I know those kinds of relationships still exist for people today, even if I don't have friends like that at the moment. But our society has changed so much and people seem so much busier and so much less connected with each other, that it seems to take more time and energy to make room for friendship. How to make it happen? Especially when one's dear hubby is much more of an introvert than oneself and is perfectly content to spend every evening just with our family of three? I'm not sure. But I need to make it more of a priority. Father Tim's prayer: Make me a blessing to someone today!
--My relationship with Dear Hubby, good as it is, can always be made richer and deeper. We need to take more time and thought for each other and really listen and communicate more.
--I have sadly neglected my time with the Lord. What's really more important--checking the latest updates on my favorite web sites, or getting my heart and mind focused on Him so that He will be a part of everything in my life.
--Our house needs to be more of a home. Need to take more of an interest in keeping it cleaner, making it more pleasant and livable and cozy. There are so many things we'd like to improve about it--but without the skills or the money, it's difficult to do more than little things. But little things can do a lot--for instance--cooking! We usually don't, really. Way too much dependence on pre-prepared foods and frozen entrees and such. To improve our menu and our nutrition would be great! And organizing our papers and important documents better REALLY needs to be done soon.
And this isn't even counting things like developing new interests, going new places, doing new things--broadening our horizons and making more of life than we have now.
When I look at it, it seems overwhelming. But the only way to do it is to chip at it, one day at a time, one goal at a time, one dream at a time.
"True love consists not only of looking into each other's eyes, but also of looking forward in the same direction."
Monday, April 2, 2007
Farewell Peaceful Haven
Tomorrow morning, the door closes forever on a piece of my childhood. My parents are flying away from the Oregon home they just sold and heading to their new life in Massachusetts near my brother.
We didn't live there on those 80 acres near that tiny Oregon town. But my grandparents did, and the generation before theirs (I have to admit I'm not sure on which side!) homesteaded it. It was part of growing up, to take that long drive, to stop and eat in Weed or Willows, to sing the "We're almost there!" song in Dutch--to spend time at what Grandma called her "Peaceful Haven."
We often came up during Easter, Christmas, or the summertime to spend time with my beloved Grandma and Grandpa. We would play in "Grandpa's Forest" and build forts, boats, pirate ships--whatever we could imagine. We'd walk to the river that runs through the property, and we'd go to the little church where Grandpa even preached sometimes. Blackberries we'd picked were eaten over vanilla ice cream. We spent hours reading old magazines. Grandma's dolls and carnival glass, plates and teacups added beauty, but more than that, it was Grandma and Grandpa's love and heart that we enjoyed. Even after Grandpa passed away, Grandma stayed on her land till very near the end of her life, and her warm spirit never failed. The peaceful, beautifully natural cemetery near the town holds them and many relatives.
When my parents retired from California to Oregon, they had their house built next to Grandma's old house (which my aunt now owns on her 40 acres of the divided 80.) It was beautiful and spacious, and they named it Pfefferle Pines. They spent 15 happy years there, and I still loved coming up--for Mom's Eastern Star events (how often does one woman get to be a Grand Officer AND a Grand Representative within 10 years of moving to a new state!), for Christmas, for lots of other things. Even Little Man got to see it last summer, and was as enchanted by the deer drinking from the birdbath as he was by the pinball machine at the town's ice cream parlor!
Someone new will make memories there now--but I won't soon forget all of mine. The Folks are making the right decision for many reasons--but I know they will feel a pang as well.
Farewell 5280 & 5550-- I will miss you.
We didn't live there on those 80 acres near that tiny Oregon town. But my grandparents did, and the generation before theirs (I have to admit I'm not sure on which side!) homesteaded it. It was part of growing up, to take that long drive, to stop and eat in Weed or Willows, to sing the "We're almost there!" song in Dutch--to spend time at what Grandma called her "Peaceful Haven."
We often came up during Easter, Christmas, or the summertime to spend time with my beloved Grandma and Grandpa. We would play in "Grandpa's Forest" and build forts, boats, pirate ships--whatever we could imagine. We'd walk to the river that runs through the property, and we'd go to the little church where Grandpa even preached sometimes. Blackberries we'd picked were eaten over vanilla ice cream. We spent hours reading old magazines. Grandma's dolls and carnival glass, plates and teacups added beauty, but more than that, it was Grandma and Grandpa's love and heart that we enjoyed. Even after Grandpa passed away, Grandma stayed on her land till very near the end of her life, and her warm spirit never failed. The peaceful, beautifully natural cemetery near the town holds them and many relatives.
When my parents retired from California to Oregon, they had their house built next to Grandma's old house (which my aunt now owns on her 40 acres of the divided 80.) It was beautiful and spacious, and they named it Pfefferle Pines. They spent 15 happy years there, and I still loved coming up--for Mom's Eastern Star events (how often does one woman get to be a Grand Officer AND a Grand Representative within 10 years of moving to a new state!), for Christmas, for lots of other things. Even Little Man got to see it last summer, and was as enchanted by the deer drinking from the birdbath as he was by the pinball machine at the town's ice cream parlor!
Someone new will make memories there now--but I won't soon forget all of mine. The Folks are making the right decision for many reasons--but I know they will feel a pang as well.
Farewell 5280 & 5550-- I will miss you.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Finally A Family
I got an invitation today--Little Guy's adoption will be final on Tuesday! I plan to try to go to the ceremony. I'm so happy for Little Guy and his mom. Little Guy is about 17 months old and has been with his mommy since he was just a few weeks old, I think.
It's always bittersweet when a birth family is unable to care for a child for whatever reason, but it's pure joy when a child can be placed with a family (mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, church friends and so many more) who will love him and care for him.
I well remember our own Little Man's finalization. He was 12 days shy of being one year old. It was a hard time in our lives because Dear Hubby was driving trucks over-the-road and gone for long stretches, and it was really hard to arrange the ceremony with the court. But we managed, and it was one of the most special days we've ever had.
So here's to you, Little Guy & Mommy--A Forever Family!
It's always bittersweet when a birth family is unable to care for a child for whatever reason, but it's pure joy when a child can be placed with a family (mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, church friends and so many more) who will love him and care for him.
I well remember our own Little Man's finalization. He was 12 days shy of being one year old. It was a hard time in our lives because Dear Hubby was driving trucks over-the-road and gone for long stretches, and it was really hard to arrange the ceremony with the court. But we managed, and it was one of the most special days we've ever had.
So here's to you, Little Guy & Mommy--A Forever Family!
Sunday, March 4, 2007
YA Lit for the Past-Forty Woman
I admit it, I love YA literature. It's easy and fun to read, and a nice escape from adulthood.
I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS (AND THE PANTS)
This weekend I plowed into the final book in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Ann Brashares: Forever in Blue. This series has taken its four wonderful heroines from the summer before their sophomore year in high school to (in this final book) the summer before their sophomore year in college. Through all the changes in their lives, they have always been there for each other--and the magic of their friendship is somehow aided and represented by the one pair of magical thrift store jeans that remarkably fit each of their four different figures perfectly.
I think Ann Brashares has beautifully captured these four teenage girls in all of their uncertainties, confusion, passion, worries, joys and fears. I cared very much about Bee, Lena, Tibby and Carmen, and I felt their happiness and their pain deeply in each book. The fourth book moved each of them to more mature decisions and more adult challenges and choices, and how each handled them reflects their individuality, yet also their solidity as a Sisterhood, no matter what happens. In the end they discover it was not necessarily the Pants they needed--but simply each other.
How well I remember the intensity of teenage friendship. Though I never had three "bestfriends from the womb" (the Sisters "met" when their four moms attended the same prenatal yoga class while pregnant with them), I have certainly had those deep and abiding relationships that made such a difference in my life in high school and college. I was never good at making friends, and perhaps way too needy and immature with the friends I did have. I always was one to take life too intensely and too seriously. But I loved them deeply and we went through our life changes together. I am still in contact with several of them, and though we have drifted apart, I will always cherish who they were to me during that time. One of my closest friends, at age 45, will be married for the first time this summer and I am thrilled for her and can't wait to go. My college roomie, who probably thought I was just way too intensely needy in the way I looked up to her, but who taught me so much about how a Christian woman should live her life, still exchanges Christmas cards with us and is a fellow adoptive mom (Twins, in her case!).
As an adult, married with a child, I find friendships much more difficult both to create and to maintain. The intensity of love, time, energy and devotion that I used to devote to my friends, is now devoted to my husband and son. I don't have a 'best friend' or even very many female friends at all. And it's very difficult for me to pick up the phone and call someone, or even to check the local mommies web site to see what's going on and see if hubby, little man and I can get involved with some new people. But I know it's something I need to do, and one of my goals this year is to build some new relationships. Perhaps not on that intense, all-consuming "Best Friends Forever" level that high school and college engender, but on an adult, mature, loving and supportive level. Definitely a challenge!
ALICE
The other books I've been reading are the "Alice" series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. These are delightful simply because Alice is such a typical and "real" young girl, getting into all the scrapes and quirky foibles that junior high offers just about anyone. This weekend I enjoyed "Reluctantly Alice" and "All but Alice", which together take Alice through most of her seventh grade year. They are light and amusing and quite enjoyable.
AND ANNE
My Talking Book listening is currently "Anne of Avonlea", second in the Anne of Green Gables series. This series is beautifully written and engaging, if sometimes a little slow and ponderous. The nature of life in the late 1800s is so much different than life now (the first 2 chapters of "Anne of Green Gables" always make the adoptive mom in me cringe.) But Anne too, in her own way, meets life's foibles head on with imagination and energy, and she is just as delightful a heroine as the Sisters or Alice.
I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS (AND THE PANTS)
This weekend I plowed into the final book in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Ann Brashares: Forever in Blue. This series has taken its four wonderful heroines from the summer before their sophomore year in high school to (in this final book) the summer before their sophomore year in college. Through all the changes in their lives, they have always been there for each other--and the magic of their friendship is somehow aided and represented by the one pair of magical thrift store jeans that remarkably fit each of their four different figures perfectly.
I think Ann Brashares has beautifully captured these four teenage girls in all of their uncertainties, confusion, passion, worries, joys and fears. I cared very much about Bee, Lena, Tibby and Carmen, and I felt their happiness and their pain deeply in each book. The fourth book moved each of them to more mature decisions and more adult challenges and choices, and how each handled them reflects their individuality, yet also their solidity as a Sisterhood, no matter what happens. In the end they discover it was not necessarily the Pants they needed--but simply each other.
How well I remember the intensity of teenage friendship. Though I never had three "bestfriends from the womb" (the Sisters "met" when their four moms attended the same prenatal yoga class while pregnant with them), I have certainly had those deep and abiding relationships that made such a difference in my life in high school and college. I was never good at making friends, and perhaps way too needy and immature with the friends I did have. I always was one to take life too intensely and too seriously. But I loved them deeply and we went through our life changes together. I am still in contact with several of them, and though we have drifted apart, I will always cherish who they were to me during that time. One of my closest friends, at age 45, will be married for the first time this summer and I am thrilled for her and can't wait to go. My college roomie, who probably thought I was just way too intensely needy in the way I looked up to her, but who taught me so much about how a Christian woman should live her life, still exchanges Christmas cards with us and is a fellow adoptive mom (Twins, in her case!).
As an adult, married with a child, I find friendships much more difficult both to create and to maintain. The intensity of love, time, energy and devotion that I used to devote to my friends, is now devoted to my husband and son. I don't have a 'best friend' or even very many female friends at all. And it's very difficult for me to pick up the phone and call someone, or even to check the local mommies web site to see what's going on and see if hubby, little man and I can get involved with some new people. But I know it's something I need to do, and one of my goals this year is to build some new relationships. Perhaps not on that intense, all-consuming "Best Friends Forever" level that high school and college engender, but on an adult, mature, loving and supportive level. Definitely a challenge!
ALICE
The other books I've been reading are the "Alice" series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. These are delightful simply because Alice is such a typical and "real" young girl, getting into all the scrapes and quirky foibles that junior high offers just about anyone. This weekend I enjoyed "Reluctantly Alice" and "All but Alice", which together take Alice through most of her seventh grade year. They are light and amusing and quite enjoyable.
AND ANNE
My Talking Book listening is currently "Anne of Avonlea", second in the Anne of Green Gables series. This series is beautifully written and engaging, if sometimes a little slow and ponderous. The nature of life in the late 1800s is so much different than life now (the first 2 chapters of "Anne of Green Gables" always make the adoptive mom in me cringe.) But Anne too, in her own way, meets life's foibles head on with imagination and energy, and she is just as delightful a heroine as the Sisters or Alice.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Little Guy
Little Guy, age one, who goes to day care with my own little man, got his new arm yesterday.
Little Guy's foster (hoping to adopt) mommy is the daughter of Little Man's day care providers. She's had him since he was very young. Little Guy was born with only half of his right arm. His mommy took him to Shriners Hospital in Sacramento. Over several visits in a several month period, they evaluated him, casted the very first of many prosthetic arms he will use in his lifetime, and presented him with it just yesterday. We had dinner at their church this evening and his mommy was proudly showing off how well he was doing with it.
Being only one year old, Little Guy doesn't quite understand all about it, how it works or what to do. The new arm is very simple and doesn't have too many functions. After all, it's mostly just for him to get used to the feel of wearing a prosthesis.
Little Guy will have many choices in his life. Will he mostly use the prosthesis, or will he be more comfortable simply learning to do things one handed? (I've been impressed by how well he does one-handed already.) How will he deal with his disability, and what will his attitude be? Right now, he's a sweet little baby and his mommy is encouraging him to do everything he possibly can in whatever way works best.
He's fortunate that he has the Shriners, the Ronald McDonald House, and that wonderful woman who is the mommy of his heart even if the social workers haven't yet made her his mommy on paper.
Little Guy's foster (hoping to adopt) mommy is the daughter of Little Man's day care providers. She's had him since he was very young. Little Guy was born with only half of his right arm. His mommy took him to Shriners Hospital in Sacramento. Over several visits in a several month period, they evaluated him, casted the very first of many prosthetic arms he will use in his lifetime, and presented him with it just yesterday. We had dinner at their church this evening and his mommy was proudly showing off how well he was doing with it.
Being only one year old, Little Guy doesn't quite understand all about it, how it works or what to do. The new arm is very simple and doesn't have too many functions. After all, it's mostly just for him to get used to the feel of wearing a prosthesis.
Little Guy will have many choices in his life. Will he mostly use the prosthesis, or will he be more comfortable simply learning to do things one handed? (I've been impressed by how well he does one-handed already.) How will he deal with his disability, and what will his attitude be? Right now, he's a sweet little baby and his mommy is encouraging him to do everything he possibly can in whatever way works best.
He's fortunate that he has the Shriners, the Ronald McDonald House, and that wonderful woman who is the mommy of his heart even if the social workers haven't yet made her his mommy on paper.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Decluttering
There's so much clutter everywhere.
At home, where we REALLY need to clean out the garage. (Imagine actually being able to park a car in there!) Some things are gone now--Little Man's baby bath and his Pack 'n Play; his high chair and his bouncy seat; emergency food from y2k that probably isn't in that great a shape any more. Some things stay--His water table for the backyard in the summers; our growing "Christmas stuff" collection (Why Dear Hubby insists on buying several new strands of outdoor lights each year when the size of our house has remained the same is a mystery); our wedding albums; Little Man's adoption files. And some things have been added: a tricycle, a child's helmet, a big preschool art easel/chalkboard that we REALLY need to drag inside more often for little man to play with.
At work, it's much the same. Old adaptive equipment catalogs and workshop notes hid volunteer hour time sheets that were lost in October and just found 2 weeks ago (a month after the final 2006 totals were due). Cardboard packaging for cassette machines seems to multiply on its own. There are the zip code directories from 1995, and a microfiche (yes MICROFICHE!) reader machine from who knows when. And there is more scratch paper on my 2 bottom shelves than I could ever use even if I didn't retire until age 70. Lots of that will go as we prepare for Extreme Makeover/TBL Edition.
Some things will stay: Our tape-playing teddy bear mascot; art from a reading disabled inmate patron advertising "NLS Books on TAP"; a handmade sculpture of a girl sitting and listening to a Talking Book record player; just one old flexible disc record that I HAVE to keep as a souvenir. Things that mean something to our library and remind us of what we do. And what will be added: new carpet; new paint; a new collection of descriptive videos; and the constant flow of more new books than we can ever hope to shelve.
Life is like that. You have to make the energy to move with the changes, to get rid of what's no longer needed, keep what is meaningful, and make room for what must be added. Sometimes it's easier just to keep the status quo rather than investing the time. But in the end, it is worth the effort.
At home, where we REALLY need to clean out the garage. (Imagine actually being able to park a car in there!) Some things are gone now--Little Man's baby bath and his Pack 'n Play; his high chair and his bouncy seat; emergency food from y2k that probably isn't in that great a shape any more. Some things stay--His water table for the backyard in the summers; our growing "Christmas stuff" collection (Why Dear Hubby insists on buying several new strands of outdoor lights each year when the size of our house has remained the same is a mystery); our wedding albums; Little Man's adoption files. And some things have been added: a tricycle, a child's helmet, a big preschool art easel/chalkboard that we REALLY need to drag inside more often for little man to play with.
At work, it's much the same. Old adaptive equipment catalogs and workshop notes hid volunteer hour time sheets that were lost in October and just found 2 weeks ago (a month after the final 2006 totals were due). Cardboard packaging for cassette machines seems to multiply on its own. There are the zip code directories from 1995, and a microfiche (yes MICROFICHE!) reader machine from who knows when. And there is more scratch paper on my 2 bottom shelves than I could ever use even if I didn't retire until age 70. Lots of that will go as we prepare for Extreme Makeover/TBL Edition.
Some things will stay: Our tape-playing teddy bear mascot; art from a reading disabled inmate patron advertising "NLS Books on TAP"; a handmade sculpture of a girl sitting and listening to a Talking Book record player; just one old flexible disc record that I HAVE to keep as a souvenir. Things that mean something to our library and remind us of what we do. And what will be added: new carpet; new paint; a new collection of descriptive videos; and the constant flow of more new books than we can ever hope to shelve.
Life is like that. You have to make the energy to move with the changes, to get rid of what's no longer needed, keep what is meaningful, and make room for what must be added. Sometimes it's easier just to keep the status quo rather than investing the time. But in the end, it is worth the effort.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)