Wednesday, April 25, 2007

There Must Be More Than This Provincial Life

I like my life. Really, I do. When I think about the times in my life when it's been REALLY bad--when I was single and lonely and felt hopeless; when I was finally married but I thought I'd NEVER EVER get a library job; when we didn't know if we'd ever have a child; this is probably as good as it's been.

I have a job that I absolutely love, which I do believe God engineered me into. I have a wonderful husband and the most adorable three-year-old anyone could ask for. But there is so much more I want.

To have more friendships and involvement in my community, whether it be through church, playgroups, whatever. I miss having close friends. Reading certain books set in the late 19th/early 20th centuries, I'm struck by how much time friends spent with each other and how they really knew each other intimately. I know those kinds of relationships still exist for people today, even if I don't have friends like that at the moment. But our society has changed so much and people seem so much busier and so much less connected with each other, that it seems to take more time and energy to make room for friendship. How to make it happen? Especially when one's dear hubby is much more of an introvert than oneself and is perfectly content to spend every evening just with our family of three? I'm not sure. But I need to make it more of a priority. Father Tim's prayer: Make me a blessing to someone today!

--My relationship with Dear Hubby, good as it is, can always be made richer and deeper. We need to take more time and thought for each other and really listen and communicate more.

--I have sadly neglected my time with the Lord. What's really more important--checking the latest updates on my favorite web sites, or getting my heart and mind focused on Him so that He will be a part of everything in my life.

--Our house needs to be more of a home. Need to take more of an interest in keeping it cleaner, making it more pleasant and livable and cozy. There are so many things we'd like to improve about it--but without the skills or the money, it's difficult to do more than little things. But little things can do a lot--for instance--cooking! We usually don't, really. Way too much dependence on pre-prepared foods and frozen entrees and such. To improve our menu and our nutrition would be great! And organizing our papers and important documents better REALLY needs to be done soon.

And this isn't even counting things like developing new interests, going new places, doing new things--broadening our horizons and making more of life than we have now.

When I look at it, it seems overwhelming. But the only way to do it is to chip at it, one day at a time, one goal at a time, one dream at a time.

"True love consists not only of looking into each other's eyes, but also of looking forward in the same direction."


Debi said...

Hi Wendy -- found you by way of FreeRangeLibrarian. I just wanted to mention first of all that your post subject, unattributed as it was, was not lost on this mother of a 5 year old daughter obsessed with Belle and "the beast." I loved watching her sing that as she walked down a busy street in downtown Chicago!

As for the rest -- you WILL have more of all of that, someday. When your little one starts going to school, you'll have interactions as a result of that. Also, maybe you could combine the socializing with some church-going to accomplish two goals at once. I think parents of young kids can live in survival mode for long stretches -- just accept that this is temporary, and you'll have more time to reflect on the rest of it later. :)

Wendy said...

Hey my first comment! Thanks! (and kudos to you for catching the title reference, LOL)